flymetothemoon

my 21st! =)

2007-07-12T20:39:00.000+08:00

i had one of the best birthdays ever yesterday.

to the wonderful people in my life, for making my 21st extra special.. for making me feel special, thank you sooo much.

and to HIM, thank you for blessing my life and for giving me another year to share this blessed life.

i could not ask for more.

love,

ayen =)

Paolo (July 10, 10:20pm) : Happy Birthday ayen! For more fire in life!

Ricca (July 10, 11:09pm) : Happy birthday! How are you? regards..

Marinel (July 10, 11:13pm) : Bday alarm - Karen Torcuator 11 july 09274974282.. Hahaha.. Akala mo na wrong sent aq sau ng sarili mong bday alarm noh? Anyway, para maiba lng, happy haffee bday ate ayen.. I wish u a merry merry bday. Haha, sna mging msaya ka and special ang bday mo.. Xempre qng ice2lebr8 mo nman un ksama q na mganda eh sa2ya nman tlaga bday mo, but w8, ders more! Dhl bday mo., mganda (ay mas mganda k skn konti).. pero consummable lng til 11:59 ng july 11, aftr dat.. Pantay na ulit tau.. u know naman kulotin k lng mpagkkmalan n nman taung kambal.. Haha., o xa xa., Dhl halos araw2 n taung mgkasama at mgkksama pa tau..

Biboy (July 10, 11:59pm) : Ei, ate ayen! Happy birthday! *smiley*

Gracie (July 10, 12:00pm) : Haberdey ayen! *smiley*

Aiken (12:05am) : Goodmorning sunshine! => Happy Birthday! => hugggsss..

Nyl (12:20am) : Haba birdie ate ayen!!! Nyahaha. Wish u ol d best in lyf, e.g., luvlyf, health, sexiness, work, future plans. May u have ol d luv in ds world. I thank God 4 u!

Joel (12:22am) : Karen, happy bday! *smiley*

Tonet (12:24am) : Happy bday mother ayen! *smiley*

Ishie (1:08am) : Happy bday ayen! Mwamwah. *smiley*

Kat (2:33am) : Happy birthday ate ayen! i love you! *hugs*

Oya (6:49am) : Ayen! Happy birthday *smiley*

Tita Ollie and Kishi and my grandma called to greet me.. (7:11am) =)

Yetlen (7:22am) : Happy birthday ate ayen!

Vik (7:27am) : happy bday! libre! libre! libre!

Moi (7:28am) : Happy 21st Batch. *graphics* Love You, Love You!!

Budz April (7:33am) : Hapi birthday! *smiley*

Mickey (7:48am) : Happy Birthday to You. Happy Birthday to You. Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to You. *smiley*

Ran (7:54am) : Happy birthday dear. *smiley*

Jaja (8:07am) : Every person you "bump with" has a purpose.. so you ask yourself how this person touched your life.. with you?.. i never really asked.. i just smiled.. =) happy b'day, ate ayen!

Celine (8:08am) : girl! Hapi bday, *smiley* love ya!

Xtian (8:08am) : Batch! Happy Birthday!

Kristian (9:01am) : Happy birthday yenstah! *smiley* i wish na sana dumating na ang "the one" sa buhay mo. *smiley* ahahaha! *smiley* goodluck sa work! At ingat ka palague! *smiley* hehe. Ilang taon ka na nga?

Gianna (9:03am) : happy birthday ^_^

Jaja (9:06am) : Magandang umaga! *smiley* *ehem* Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday... happy birthday to you! *smiley*

Dom (10:49am) : Ayen may kilala kang may birthday ngayon? Parang may naaalala ko na may bday ng july 11, di ko lng alam kung cno...

HAHAHAHAHAPPY BIRTHDAY AYEN! *smiley*

Verna (10:52am) : Karen, happy birthday!

Ariel (11:02am) : Happy bday karen! *smiley*

Jayson (11:20am): Happy birthday karen! Miss u! Godbless. *smiley*

Ian (11:26am) : Happy birthday! i wish you all the happiness in this world for someone like you deserves to be happy. I wish im there with you today. miss you. call you later..

Jerome (12:16pm) : Happy birthday ayen! *smiley*

Noreen (3:02pm) : hi sis! happy happ birthday!!! i wish you all the best in your life.. goodluck sis.. may you have more blessings to come.. i loveyou and im always here for you.. see you soon.. take care always!!! muah! God Bless..

Carol (4:03pm) : ayen! happy birthday dear manghuhula.. ^-^ miss u..

Via (4:06pm) : Ate ayen! Happy birthday!

Justin (4:33pm) : Ate Karen, Nkita ko sa aking profile na birthday mo sa July 11th. Kaya ngayon, binabati kita ng hapPi BirtHdaY! May U hav morE bIrThdaYs to ComE! Take CaRe Always and GoD BLeSs!

Rania called me =) (5:15pm)

Bully Tin (7:03pm) : Ayen, hapi bday! *smiley* musta?

Ruth (7:57pm) : Happy birthday ate ayen! *smiley* hope you had a blast *smiley* love you. *smiley*

Kuya Rommel (9:07pm) : my pinsan ganda, hapi b_day!

Ceazar (10:07pm) : Happy bornday!

Mau called me =) (10:15pm)

Tito Dan (10:57pm) : Happy birthday karen! More blessings and good health. Please take in charge of Miko's birthday program and games. Thanks!

Jal (11:01pm) : Before im too late, happy birthday! :-) May God bless you with everything you need.

Ian called.. =) (11:20pm)

Farrah (11:41pm) : Hapi birthday! Pagpalain k ng Diyos *smiley*

Austin (11:54pm) : Ms. ayen! Hapy bday po *smiley* Many more fun ones 2 come *smiley*

Elbert (July 12, 10:38 am) : ui miss karen.. *smiley* belated haberdey! *smiley* *graphics*

OJ (July 12, 1:15pm) : Happy birthday Ayen! Enjoy your day and stay gorgeous!

our last song

2007-05-09T13:09:00.000+08:00

Close your eyes, make a wish
And blow out the candlelight
For tonight is just your night
We're gonna celebrate, all thru the night
Pour the wine, light the fire
Girl your wish is my command
I submit to your demands
I'll do anything, girl you need only ask

Chorus:
I'll make love to you
Like you want me to
And I'll hold you tight
Baby all through the night
I'll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
Till you tell me to

Girl relax, let's go slow
I ain't got nowhere to go
I'm just gonna concentrate on you
Girl are you ready, it's gonna be a long night
Throw your clothes on the floor
I'm gonna take my clothes off too
I made plans to be with you
Girl whatever you ask me you know I'll do

Chorus

Baby tonight is your night
And I will do you right
Just make a wish on your night
Anything that you ask
I will give you the love of your life

Chorus

*the last song he sang for me.. with me.. =)

"ano uno ka na?" Apr 17, '07 7:15 AM

2007-05-09T13:08:00.003+08:00

Since the beginning, there had never been any future for "us".

I had been merely the recipient of his frustration over her.

But it wasn't as if I had never been aware of the true situation.

He had never deceived me; afterall he had never made any promises.

We had just been two people caught up in an emotional hurricane.

And hurricanes had casualties, didn't they?

I was simply one of them.

*what have i done?

sing this song for me... Mar 25, '07 9:25 AM

2007-05-09T13:08:00.001+08:00

when i go i will miss you

and i will be thinking of you

every night and day

just promise me

you'll wait for me

'cause i'll be saving all my love for you

and i will be home soon

promise me

you'll wait for me

i need to know you feel the same way too

i'll be home

i'll be home

i'll be home soon..

* 525, 600 minutes x 2... how i wish i met you sooner...

my rhett butler. Mar 17, '07 11:43 PM

2007-05-09T13:06:00.000+08:00

It was such a beautiful beginning for a love that would never be fulfilled.

We started innocently enough – as friends.

We talked day and night, exchanging witticisms and amusing comments on the ironies of life. You stimulated my interest, and pretty soon, you captured my heart.

I used to laugh at couples who couldn’t get enough of each other, when I suddenly found myself reluctant to say goodnight after spending the whole day with you. I couldn’t sleep, wondering why tomorrow was taking so long.

It was never like that for me before…
I had to laugh at the irony of it all.

I used to dream of a Prince Charming who would sweep me off my feet in a dazzling romance, but there I was – in love with a guy who, for all his eloquence, barely knew how to tell me he loved me.

Didn’t you know? Each time you smiled, you were winning my trust. And every time you held my hand, you were touching my heart. In your arms, I was in danger of falling deeper, yet I knew I couldn’t be more secure. You reached me in a way nobody else has before, and you gave me faith in things I’ve never had the courage to believe.

Still, I held back. What we had was wonderful, and it was so perfect, so absolutely perfect, that I was afraid to believe it could last forever.

*not now, perhaps another day.

>><<>><< (bakit kaya ganito ang title no? hahaha =) ) Mar 15, '07 6:21 AM

2007-05-09T13:04:00.000+08:00

fallin' in...

fallin' out

fallin' in...

fallin' out...

fallin' out...

fallin' out...

fallin' in...

*my dear... halos two years na tayong ganito... maiba naman para mas masaya tayo.

fallin' in...

fallin' in...

fallin' in...

...with a commitment...

finally. =)

seven pee-em

2007-03-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

"kung hindi ako magkakaroon ng boyfriend sa UP, 'yun ay dahil hindi naging tayo..." (Torcuator, 2007)

fly me to the moon

2007-02-15T21:56:00.000+08:00

A-ll Y-ou E-ver N-eeded is [in]LOVE.

* _ _ _ , finally i believe in forever again...

thanks, for yesterday..

belated happy valentine's day everyone =)

wrap around

2007-02-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

i have deprived myself of something for quite a long period of time for someone whom i thought was.. oh never mind. what is important is that now i have realized my foolishness.. and so i'm back in the game. =p

* this is my goodbye to you.. whoever you are.

look into my eyes =)

2007-02-10T20:10:00.000+08:00

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom
What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyoureyesbequiz/">What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

happiness

2007-02-05T21:56:00.000+08:00

happiness. =)

shake hands =)

2007-01-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

hahaha..
hinde ako makalog-in last week..

we're okay na.

love ko na ulet ang aking dear

dear friend =)

goodluck later! =)

how i wish i momentarily died at 4:00pm yesterday

2007-01-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

this is the last time i'll ever say anything about what happened yesterday.
this time i will do away with the ambiguity i always incorporate with what i write in here.
this time i will be simply frank and honest about how i really felt.

i shed a lot of tears yesterday to the point that my eyes really really hurt. i was even feeling embarassed to show my face to my mother when i came home. i was afraid she'd notice and ask me why my eyes looked so puffy and i was afraid that i would not be able to control my emotions again and burst into yet another stream of tears. she noticed, yes, but she didn't ask. thank you Lord.

so why did i cry?
i felt disappointed with someone. i want to make it clear that that someone is not her (yes, i was disappointed with her for not doing her assigned duties for our committee but that was a different kind of disappointment.. it, indeed, made me feel bad but that would not be something i would cry about despite my being a cry-baby). well yes, everything started because of that issue with her and so i guess she's somehow part of the reason but really the tears weren't shed for or because of her..

i felt disappointed in a friend. someone whom i thought would have known me by now.. someone i least expected to make me feel this bad.. someone whom I thought understood me.. apparently, i expected too much..

maybe you had good intentions for telling me what you told me.. but you know what, you could have first asked me about what really happened (like what I expected a friend would do), about why I wasn't feeling friendly with her lately.. you could have also asked me first if i was the one who started the 'talk' about her because honestly speaking, i wasn't the one.. but you did not. when you talked to me, you already had an assumption/conclusion about what happened or what is happening. too bad for me i guess, i could no longer plead my case.

but you know what hurts more? it was when you made me feel that her feelings are more important than my feelings... that you chose to protect her than protect me.. it all felt like, all of a sudden, i was the bad girl and she was the good girl. and it was so unfair. that was so unfair. you made me feel like i am a member of the organization first more than i am your friend and that was the hardest slap in my face i have ever received in my life.

once again, maybe you didn't intend to make me feel this bad but that was how it felt... and it hurts more so because of the frustration i felt that you don't seem to realize that i was hurt because of you.. yes, it was because of you, it was because of the words you said and how those words made me feel. and so how i wish that 4:00 pm never existed in our friendship, how i wish.. because now, i feel sort of disenchanted and lost with that friendship.. i don't know how to make things go back to normal.. right now, honestly i don't know if it's possible to go back to the way things used to be.. and that actually hurts me most.

this is so unlike me.. as much as possible i choose to suffer in silence because i am afraid that i might utter words which might cause unhealable wounds.. but i guess sometimes i just have to stop caring about other's feelings and think about myself first naman.. i think i should start caring for my feelings naman.

you kept asking me this yesterday.. "naiintindihan mo naman ako ayen di ba?" and i so wanted to ask you this too, "ikaw, naiintindihan mo ba ako?" kasi kung oo, hinde sana nangyari 'to..

sorry, dito ko dinaan kasi nung sasabihin ko na kasi sana ang totoo sa'yo kagabi, saka mo naman kailangan nang umalis..

if this may seem to be so harsh, i guess i'm sorry (?) but this is really how i felt, how i feel.
i don't want to pretend that i am ok because i really am not.

radial vector

2006-12-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

stolen glances
the misty look..
sweet subtleties
the fleeting touch..
silent giggles
the language of the heart..
seconds stretched into forever
and that smile..
that you
and only you can bring..

these feel oh so familiar..
these feel like 12 dreamy months ago..

yes..
i think i'm back with you..

12 seconds

2006-12-02T17:45:00.000+08:00

start walking,

keep on walking.

don't turn back

nor stop.

and please, for once

never look back.

until his out of your life...

just keep on walking

keep on walking until his out of your life...

*don't look back.
there's nothing to look back at anyway, it's over.

shades of gray.

2006-12-02T17:29:00.000+08:00

tabula rasa.

* just when you thought nothing could ever go wrong... everything goes wrong.

bridges

2006-11-10T21:57:00.000+08:00

am definitely so confused.
is it her? or is it me?
i damn feel so much but i cannot say a word
i dare not say a word..
and though i'm shouting inside..
i can't be heard
i dare not be heard.
i dare not let my heart be heard right now.

the fifth level

2006-11-10T21:52:00.000+08:00

i wish this'll be the last time i'll ever wish that you are mine...

...because finally you are mine

Never give up.. Never give in.. Never let the ray of light set in.. (o, kinanta mo naman! haha ^_^)

2006-10-17T18:29:00.000+08:00

lately, i realized that my life's somehow fit for an episode of A Series of Unfortunate Events

1. a political science 110 heartbreak

I received a failing mark for my first rrl draft. I got a 3.5 grade (with mam casambre there's such thing as a 3.5). actually, even before she gave out the results, I knew that I might fail in that exercise.. I knew that the paper I submitted was really sort of trash, and there's no one else who deserves the blame but me. I know that I deserved the failing mark.. I knew it was coming what with my being an ultimate cramming queen but though I knew it, I still cried (as usual i guess..) and cried and cried after receiving my paper.. I realized that with my lackluster performance this sem, I might not graduate on time and thoughts of how to tell my family began surfacing in my mind.. I couldn't breathe. It felt like the world was crashing down on me. I couldn't disappoint them, I don't want to.. not now when im almost there.. I blamed myself for being so lazy lately.. for indulging in a superhero syndrome (kaya yan later, ako pa... kaya tulog muna)..
"What's happening with you Karen?" "What's happening with you!" kept on buzzing on my mind.. An inner voice was telling me that I used to write well.. that some years ago, I even qualified for two english categories in the national press conference.. that I used to receive recognition and earn cash because of the words i put together in harmony.. so why the hell then can't I submit a decent paper now? I kept on thinking of different answers though all along deep within me I always knew the answer..

I am not fit for polsci.

I am in the wrong place. Because come to think of it, how could someone whose honest ambition in life is simply to be a loving housewife and a devoted mother could fit in the complex and abstract world of political science. I should have shifted a long time ago but I'm such a coward. I feared change. Nanghinayang ako sa panahon. Foolish of me, yes. I realize that now because I'm obviously suffering the consequences of my cowardice.. Oh well..

2. losing my beloved phone

Na-holdap ako last wednesday night on my way home with matching tutok ng cutter. It was partly my fault din naman kasi nagtetext ako sa sasakyan even if I'm aware na tukso ang paglalabas ng phone sa jeep. Traumatic pala ang ma-experience ang ganon. Natulala na lang ako kaya nga nakuha nung mga nang-holdap yung phone ko nang walang hassle.. Hindi ako umiyak, masyado siguro akong shocked. Ang alam ko lang, paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na wala na kong phone.. wala na kong phone.. Siguro rin hindi pa kagad nag-sink in ang mga ibig sabihin nang wala na kong phone.. at nung nag-sink in, marami akong naramdaman.. 1.) Nahiya ako sa mom ko kasi hindi niya mabibili yung phone na binabalak niyang bilhin kasi kelangan kong magkaron ng phone (in less than 24 hours i got a new phone kaya nakokonsensya ako sobra sa mga kickbacks ko sa mom ko.. sorry ;c) 2.) Na-frustrate ako dahil lagi kong sinasabi na pag naholdap ako, hihingin ko ang sim card ko pero hindi ko nagawa kasi nga natulala na lang ako 3.) Nainis ako kasi wala na ang mga pinagkakaingat-ingatan kong pictures with my friends at 4.) Nalungkot ako kasi hindi ko na muling mababasa pa ang mga messages niya.. ang mga messages na nagpapaalaala ng mga priceless moments sa buhay ko.. sayang. sayang. sayang.

Ganon pa man, hindi ako nagalit sa mga nang-holdap sa akin.. Mas pinili ko na lang na tignan ang nangyari in a positive light. Inisip ko na lang na siguro mas malaki ang pangangailangan nila sa buhay kaysa sa pangangailangan ko sa phone ko kaya nangyari yun.. It's better to give than to receive nga raw.. Siguro rin it's a wake-up call from Papa Jesus.. sorry po at nakakalimot ako ;c at inisip ko na lang din na things like that are somehow part of growing up.. Siguro nga tumatanda na ko kaya naeexperience ko na ang mga ganong bagay at dapat matuto ako sa mga pangyayari.. Hindi na ko bata kaya dapat matuto na kong protektahan ang sarili kong kaligtasan. And at least may bago na akong phone! ;D

P.S.. kung nag-text kayo sa akin at hindi ako kagad nagreply dalawa lang 'yan... a.) wala akong load at the moment or b.) nasa biyahe ako at wala akong balak maglabas pa ng phone sa public vehicles forever ;D

3. five minutes late

Yesterday at 5pm was the deadline for my 172 paper and I missed it by a mere 5 minutes because.. well, I guess I was just really unfortunate.. and lately for me, it's nothing new anymore.. Of all days, kahapon pa dumating ang aking "visitor" kung kelan wala akong ginawang kahit na anong paghahanda.. and so nangyari ang isang nakakahiyang pangyayari kaya hindi ako kaagad na nakarating nang FC.. at kaya ayun nasaraduhan na ko ng department at nakita ko na lang na naglalakad na sa labas ng FC sina ate clare at ate zeny.. haay.. buti na lang sinundo ako ni ran dahil ang balak ko talaga didikit na lang muna ko sa wall ng FC sa third floor at maghihintay hanggang gumabi para wala nang makapansin sa nangyari sa kin (siguro naman nage-gets nio kung ano yung blooper na nangyari di ba? ;D).. at buti may jacket si ran at malaki ang bag ko kaya nasolusyunan ang problema.. at kaya naman nung ni-meet namin si dom eh nahulaan niya ang nangyari sa akin at natawa na lang kami.. in fairness, nag-fruit magic pa kami sa katips ni rania after.. hahaha ;D

5. morada baby?

Tapos kanina, i found out that CRS assigned me to Sir Morada's 199 class.. which is one of my greatest fears in life.. waah. hindi ako papayag. makukuha ko ang isa sa natitirang tatlong slots sa class ni mam casambre.. pero kung talagang nakatadhanang maging morada baby ako.. eh wala akong magagawa kundi...

bayaran si dominic ng 10 000

para gawin ang research proposal ko

teka teka nakalimutan kong humingi ng discount!

haha ;D

Pero feeling ko makukuha ko pa si mam casambre kaya ga-graduate pa rin ako on time! go positive thinking! ;D

4.) missing someone terribly

I'm losing a friend.. and of all the misfortunes I have been enduring lately, this is the ultimate.. I don't know what I did wrong for us to suddenly drift apart and how I wish we'd just go back in time to those old good happy days of ours. I don't know what'll happen next. All i know is that i miss you.. i terribly miss you.

Haay.. ang daming pangyayari..

Pero sabi nga sa akin..

think of happy thoughts na lang. aayos rin ang lahat.

at tsaka masaya naman kami ngayon. hehe ;D

tomato kick frustration

2006-10-07T18:34:00.000+08:00

wake me up inside.

before i let myself fall into a long and deep slumber..

and wake up in a different reality...

*one which does not include you anymore

kinikilig ako [walang meaning ;D]

2006-10-02T21:54:00.000+08:00

*note:
this is the wapak-ayen love story.
kung hindi mo kilala kung sino si wapak..
hmm..
goodluck na lang sa pagbabasa.
sana may mapulot ka. ;D

main actor: 'Wag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa.. kasama mo naman ako..

main actress: Ewan ko, hindi ko alam. Pwede bang 'wag na lang nating pag-usapan?

main actor: Hindi kita mapipilit kung ayaw mo... 'wag mo akong isipin.. bahala na..

main actress: Gusto kong magpaliwanag sa'yo, ngunit 'di kinakausap..

main actor: Hinahanap-hanap kita Manila, ang himig mong kaysarap sa tenga, mga jeepney mong nagliliparan, mga babae mong naggagandahan..

main actress: Hahayaan na lang silang magkandarapa na 'manligaw' sa'yo.. Idadaan na lang kita sa awitin kong ito..

main actor: Pakisabi na lang na mahal ko siya, 'di na baleng may mahal siyang iba..

main actress: Dati mong pag-ibig.. wala akong pakialam..

main actor: Nandirito kami ang barkada mong tunay aawit sa'yo, sa lungkot at ligaya, sarap at ginhawa.. kami'y kasama mo..

main actress: O giliw ko, miss na miss kita..

main actor: Andyan ka na naman, tinutukso-tukso ang aking puso..

main actress: 'Di kita pipilitin.. sundin mo pa ang iyong damdamin.. hahayaan tumibok ang puso mo.. para sa akin..

main actor: 'Wag na lang kaya.. tut-tut-tut-tut-tut.. 'Wag na lang kaya..

main actress: Torete.. Torete.. Torete sa'yo..

main actor: Sorry na kung nagalit ka.. 'di naman sinasadya..

main actress: Hindi ka ba napapagod o 'di kaya'y nagsasawa sa ating mga tampuhang walang hanggang katapusan..

main actor: Isang ngiti mo lang at ako'y magbabalik sa'yo.. nang walang kalaban-laban..

main actress: Salamat, at tayo'y nagkasamang muli..

main actor: Pasulyap-sulyap lang kunyari.. patingin-tingin..

main actress: Itanong mo sa akin, kung sinong aking mahal.. Itanong mo sa akin, sagot ko'y 'di magtatagal..

a glass of orange juice

2006-09-26T09:22:00.000+08:00

kagabi, kausap ko si rania.

ang ambiguous daw ng last post ko..
napa-isip pa raw siya kung para kanino yun.
and knowing you.. malamang daw 'pag mabasa mo (yun ay kung binabasa mo ang blog ko), hindi mo ia-assume na ikaw, magdo-doubt ka kung para sa'yo nga.

isa pa, baka raw nirere-enforce ko lang lalo na may iba pa akong gusto.
(fyi, ikaw lang talaga ang gusto ko.)

so pano ba magiging maliwanag ang lahat?

hmm, sa simula pa lang naman malabo tayong dalawa..
complicated.
hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin maliwanag kung ano na nga (o kung meron ba in the first place)
nakakalito. minsan mababaliw na ata ako sa kakaisip.
pero bakit ba ko magpapakabaliw sa kakaisip?
eh ako ba iniisip mo?

pwede kayang liwanagin na lang natin?
pero pa'no naman?
eh sa pagkakaalam ko.. pareho tayong duwag.
divine intervention? ;D

tapos kanina may pinasyalan ako sa cyberspace... tingin-tingin. basa-basa. (kahit na dapat inuuna ko ang rrl ko)

tapos napansin ko lang bigla
hindi ka pa pala nagsusulat ng kahit ano tungkol sa akin..
pero si ano naikwento mo na..
pero si ano rin naikwento mo na rin sa kanila..

siguro hindi ka pa sigurado kung anong nararamdaman mo.
siguro kasi iba ako sa kanila, ibang-iba di ba?

kaya ngayon, naisip ko na hanggat hindi ka nagsusulat tungkol sa akin..
hindi na muna ako maniniwala na there's something.

kung umabot sa panahong magkahiwa-hiwalay na tayo,
wala akong magagawa.
siguro gano'n talaga plinano ang mga bagay-bagay sa buhay ko (ang lungkot naman 'ata)
hanggang dun lang siguro..

* bakit 'pag mahal mo ang isang tao, mas lalong mahirap sabihin?

don't you wish?

2006-09-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

kagabi...

na-realize kong mahal na nga kita..
hindi na lang ako basta in-love.

*pasalamat ka kay carol, dahil yun sa kanya kaya na-realize ko 'to.

creek

2006-09-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

"if two people are really meant for each other, it does not mean that they are meant for each other now.."

pwede bang tumawa na lang ng tumawa?

2006-08-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

bakit ba tuwing umiinit ang ulo mo, sa 'kin ka gumaganti?
parang sa 'kin ka nagagalit kahit wala naman talaga akong ginawang mali...
minsan nga kahit wala naman akong kinalaman sa nangyari, wala, ako pa rin ang tumatanggap ng inis o galit mo..
nakakatawa na lang isipin na posible pa lang mag-away ang dalawang tao nang wala namang exchange of words sa simula pa lang ng away.
nakakatawa na lang din isipin na posible kayong magbati nang walang usap... o kaya naman sa pamamagitan ng isang tanong..
gusto ko na lang tumawa. nasasanay na kasi akong tawanan na lang ang lahat pagdating sa'yo.
gano'n na lang ba tayo palagi?
alam mo bang, nakakapagod nang intindihin ka.
gusto mo kasi 'ata lagi na lang kitang iintindihan..
gusto mo kasi 'ata 'pag lumamig na ang ulo mo, iisipin ko na lang na walang nangyari.
gusto mo kasi 'ata maghintay ako kahit gaano katagal sa'yo.
nakakapagod ka nang intindihin.
nakakapagod ka nang hintayin.
nakakapagod ka rin palang mahalin.

spilt milk

2006-08-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

i spilled milk months ago and im still crying over it... i know it's pointless but i can't help it especially when i so longed for that glass of milk...if only i could get hold of a time stopper...i would ecstatically hurry back to that day when i didn't mean to spill that precious glass of milk...and i would be more careful, i would be more thankful for that glass of milk...then maybe i wouldn't spill that milk...i would now be happy. we would now be happy. and there'll be no more crying over a glass of spilt milk.

* i guess i never said sorry that much
so this is my sorry to you.

clipped wings

2006-08-27T21:49:00.000+08:00

if only i could hide 'til im nowhere found...
i would forever lay behind the tallest terrains,
dive under the deepest blues..
soar high up in the comforts of the heavens above us.
if only i could finally escape from feelings made of forever
if only i could fly away from you
i would...i would...
but see, i couldn't
God, i couldn't.
my wings are still clipped,
still im here waiting, hoping...
clinging to that gold-dusted dream,
yes, that forever dream...
the forever dream that is..
that is...YOU.

Take My Quiz!

2006-08-27T21:46:00.000+08:00

Take My Quiz
- on -
QuizYourFriends.com!

fun fun fun ;D

2006-08-24T20:54:00.000+08:00

haha.. just when i thought that this day would end up as a not-so-fun day...
i was definitely proven wrong by my one in a billion orgmates..
grabe, i really had a superb time while playing a game introduced by moi (vakla, isipan mo nang pangalan! ;D)

sorry, hinde ko kayang i-explain kung papano 'yung game...
daan na lang kayo sa tambayan then ask us personally... haha. =D
promise, it's a fun fun game! =D

these are some of the unforgettable lines during the game...

"bengy ng balus meal" - moi
"mc chicken nuggets meal (high pitched sa pag-pronounce ng meal)" - bully!
"bakit ngayon ka lang, my polar bear?" - me ;D
"ikaw ang ms. universe ng buhay ko, true friend!" - carol
"mahal kita maging sino ka man, mahal!" - jayson
"langit ka, lupa ako, impiyerno sila, hon!" - moi
"kahit igapos mo ang katawan ko, hindi mo maigagapos ang puso ko Benicio!" - jayson
"i was never your partner, i am just your wife kaya hindi mo ko nirerespeto Christopher!" - me ;D
"mahal mo ba ko dahil kailangan mo ko? o kailangan mo ko kaya mahal mo ko?" - dom
"oh yes, kaibigan mo lang ako, and im so stupid for falling inlove with my own bestfriend!" - moi
"habang maikli ang kumot, matutong mamaluktot" - az
"ang lumalakad ng matulin, kung matinik ay malalim" - tonet
"ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan, hindi makakarating sa paroroonan" - dom
"sa hinaba-haba ng prusisyon, sa simbahan din ang tuloy" - me ;D
"pitumpu't pitong puting tupa" - tonet
"she shells sea shells by the seashore" -az
"minikaniko ni moniko ang makina ng minika ni monika" - moi
"peter piper picked a peck of pickled pepper" - me ;D

haay... up until now im still hyper because of that fantastic game
sa lahat ng kalaro! salamat! bukas ulet =P

told you... gaya-gaya syndrome

2006-08-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.
Your flirting style: Coy
Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park
Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant
What you bring to relationships: Romance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

gaya-gaya syndrome

2006-08-24T20:30:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.
You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.
You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.
In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.
At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.
With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.
As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.
On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

project design

2006-08-20T20:13:00.000+08:00

i watched rockestra 2 last night with rania, carol, bully, ace (bully's brother 'tas dumating si kuya gino though 'di na siya nanood kasi patapos na nung dumating siya) sa folk arts... nakakatuwa ang experience. astig pala pagsamahin ang isang banda at isang orchestra (ayan kasi dom, hinde ka sumama! hmmp).. sana nga lang mas malapit kami sa stage... siguro next year, 'pag may mga work na kami mas maa-afford na namin... well, hopefully by next year may work na nga ako. ;D

ang aliw nang araw na 'yun! tsaka dapat talaga maging aliw ang araw na 'yun after taking two exams in two major subjects... (haay...naalala ko lang ang sakit sa loob na magmemorize nang article 8 section 5 nang consti tapos hinde naman pala lalabas sa exam...haha. umabsent pa tuloy ako sa 110 ko para dun, dapat pala hinde na lang..)

isa pang dahilan kung bakit aliw? eh kasi... (yikee! kinikilig ako..haha.) i, unexpectedly saw my one and only crush sa mundo ng mga band-ista!! nakita ko si kean ng calla lily at sa gulat ko medyo na-freeze ako... at siya naman pagkakita niya sa 'kin ay nagulat din.. siguro naisip niya.. nagkita na naman kami nang babaeng 'to... eh kasi naman ewan ko ba, lagi ko na lang siyang nakikita nang biglaan pagkatapos ko siyang makita nung may mini-concert for the rookie camp ang FOPC sa sunken garden... niloloko nga ako nina carol na baka soul mate ko raw.. hahaha. sana nga ;p

and the third dahilan kung bakit aliw ang araw na 'yon eh siyempre kasi nag-sleepover na naman ako kina rania! (carol kasi, nagbago isip...next time hnde na pwede ang pass) ;D siyempre, chikka marathon yun! at food marathon din! haha. ;D ewan ko ba, kahit lagi rin naman kami magkasama sa school, hindi pa rin kami nauubusan nang pag-uusapan.. siguro ganun talaga 'pag true friends.. kaya ayun 5:30 am na kami natulog... kaya naman mga past 5pm na rin ako nakaalis ng bahay nila.. sa totoo lang, thankful talaga ako kay Lord for giving me rania.. ewan ko ba kung anong ginawa kong mabuti to deserve someone like her.. salamat, salamat, salamat..
p.s. sana hindi ka na nga ever matuto magtampo.. ipaubaya mo na sa akin 'yun. haha. ;D

Falling from Dimension Z

2006-08-20T19:51:00.000+08:00

i read a book.. and i fell in love with the story.
it was about such a grand love affair which unfortunately did not end with a happily ever after sort of ending..
i must admit, i was crying while i was reading.. nakakadala kasi talaga yung story ni Francesca at ni Robert Kincaid.. o siguro nga iyaking bata lang talaga ko...
anyway, feeling ko kasi after reading their tragic love story, i have this responsibility na i-encourage din ang ibang tao na malaman ang love story nila kasi nakakahinayang kung mamamatay lang sa limot ang istorya nilang dalawa... kaya...
basahin ninyo ang Bridges of Madison County.
surely, mai-inspire kayo na ma-inlove for real.
;D

Robert Kincaid to Francesca:

"I have something to say, one thing only. I'll say it once and I'll never say it to anyone else: In this universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once and never again no matter how many lifetimes you live."

Richard to Francesca:
"Francesca, I knew you had your own dreams too. I'm sorry I couldn't give them to you.."

read between the lines

2006-08-15T20:40:00.000+08:00

siguro nga..
sinungaling ako.
siguro nga...
kasi sabi ko kakalimutan na kita.
pero 'di ko naman magawa...
siguro nga..
ikaw pa rin.
siguro nga..
mahal kita.
mahal pa rin kita...
siguro nga.

ta-da!!!

2006-08-15T20:26:00.000+08:00

every week, nae-experience ko ang last song syndrome (LSS)...
haay, sana lang kasi ni-bless ako ni Lord ng talent in singing...
willing ako ipagpalit ang hula powers ko para dun... hehe ;P

1.) I love you by Sarah McLachlan

oh...and everytime i'm close to you
there's too much i can't say
and you just walk away...
and i...forgot
to tell you...
i love you.
and...the night's too long.
and cold here without you...
oh..i grieve in my condition..
for i cannot find the words to say
i need you so..

2.) *'di ko lam ang title pero kanta siya ng VST na ni-revive ng brownman

itanong mo sa akin...
kung sino ang aking mahal...
itanong mo sa akin...
sagot ko'y 'di magtatagal...
ikaw lang ang aking mahal..
ang pag-ibig mo'y aking kailangan.
pag-ibig na walang hangganan
ang siyang tunay na nararamdaman...

3.) But if I let you go (yata) ng Westlife
*ito ay dahil kinanta ng isang aplikante namin sa org during their shining moment activity

but if i let you go
i will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will i ever see
you smiling back at me
how will i know
if i let you go...

4.) at ang latest... ta-da!!! Para sa akin by Sitti Navarro

'di kita pipilitin...
sundin mo pa ang iyong damdamin
hahayaan na lang tumibok ang puso mo
para sa akin...

past, present or future?

2006-08-15T20:19:00.000+08:00

I'll be such a hypocrite if I'd deny that I want to live in the past all over again. I want that more than ever but I can't afford to dwell in the past. I wanna make life go on but then I can't help but cast one last glance in your direction every time you say goodbye and start to walk away to an existence entirely separate from my own. I keep my eyes on you until the last hair on your head is out of my sight, trying to preserve every detail of your appearance in my memory until the time I will see you again.

words

2006-08-15T19:53:00.000+08:00

this is a long overdue post...

wala lang. ayoko lang makalimutan ang mga lines na 'to...

1. "Sssh... ***, don't wish that. i don't think you wanna exit life with the word quitter imprinted on your forehead, right?"

2. "...tuesday ngayon, gagana ang magic!"

3. "ta-da! candy confetti for you!"

4. "*****, ang seksi mo! Balakang pa lang ulam na..."

5. "It's okay to be confused."

6. "No, I don't think you should be confused."

7. "Political Science professors in other universities took their masterals here in UP. Oh, i don't know what that means..."

8. "... a failing grade, a heartbreak..."

9. Yellow: Eh three weeks lang naman.
Green: Kahit na, aalis ka pa rin... mawawala ka pa rin.

10. "Time check! Time check!"

11. "'Pag lang 'yang si *****, 'di nag-chicken joy... ay naku talaga lagot 'yan sa 'kin!"

12. "Eh ano naman kung ma-adik ka sa kanya, eh kaadik-adik naman siya..."

of plastic cups and three months story

2006-07-12T18:25:00.000+08:00

ate kai is right.
i don't need a boyfriend to make me feel special. real friends can do that for me.
real friends, yeah real friends and there are just few of them, few enough that i can easily name and count them.
i am tired of being taken for granted.
i am tired of being just the option of other people.
it's time that i think about myself first.
people can't just come and go into my life as they please
when you go, you go...
there's just no more turning back...

*ate kai
*carol
*buddy

... i don't know what was it that i did to deserve you guys...
i want you to know that you never fail to make me feel special.
thank you so much for coming and staying in my life...
*at sa surprise birthday party! ;D
i'd be lost without you guys. hehe ;D

peanut butter sandwich

2006-07-12T18:05:00.000+08:00

***this should have been published last monday but unfortunately just when I was about to click the publish post button, they told me (people in the comp lab that is) that the internet connection was down...

I feel I ought to write something for this is my last day of being a teen-y bopper (technically that is for I know there'll always be a child in me ;p). I've been in a lot of things (some were good, some were not so good *wink*) lately and I decided to share some of my thoughts for I just dont quite trust my often forgetful memory to remember all these precious moments eternally. So here I go...

#1: AYEN + TORKY = KAREN
It's not that I hate being called torky, it's just that every time someone calls me that I can't help but feel uneasy for I feel like I am still an applicant in the org. I only let myself be called that because really I didn't have the choice to say no that time and I don't remember anyone ever asking before if it was okay to call me like that because had someone did, I would have blurted out that I prefer and would appreciate if you will opt to call me ayen or karen. Torky is just roughly 30% of me, it's just the fortune-teller-happy-go-lucky side of me only. And if you're contented with that then, you hardly know me. Not that I impose you to know me deeper but I appreciate those who exerted and are exerting their efforts to know the real me (you know who you are ;D), the whole of me and not just the perky torky or the sweetie ayen. The sum of the parts is not the same as the whole ;D

#2: FREE TO MINGLE
After three consecutive years of being involved in a different romantic relationship every year (and it's not something I am proud of po), once in a while it somehow feels lonesome for me to realize that I've been single for more than a year already. I'll be such a hypocrite if i won't admit that i miss being the center of one's world, of having someone take care of me, of having someone to take care of (officially) and hearing someone tell me that I rock his world (though some of them turned out to be jerks! *wink*). However, being single taught me a lot....
1. I realized that I must love myself first. 2. I should and can be happy on my own. Being emotionally dependent only puts me into great risks. 3. Being alone doesn't always mean being lonely. 4. Dwelling in the past won't get me nowhere. Life is meant to be lived. 5. Life goes on...and on and on.
Don't get me wrong though, it was not that I had a zero love life the past year, it was just that none reached the part of being official (sad somehow :c) so technically I was single. I must admit I would love to have someone special now (like as in right now beside me in this cold computer lab) but if it's not yet time, I am willing to wait. I know it'll be worth the wait anyway.

#3: DOCTOR! DOCTOR!
Thanks a lot to my previous groupmate in a class last summer, a lot now knows I was an INTARMED qualifier (something I would have preferred to remain hushed and kept within my inner circle) but since it's already out, I might as well talk about it and clarify some things. Those who learned about it were I think surprised because I don't look it. hehe ;D. And yes, I do agree with some of you that it was kinda foolish not to pursue it when it was being readily offered to me. It was just that during that time I didn't know what I wanted in life and I thought I still have time to think about it much later. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer (the typical dream of political science freshies) more than becoming a doctor, I really thought so before. Now, I guess it's late to change mind so I think it would be best to just make the best out of what I have right now. And though there's some regret for passing an opportunity like that, I am having an amazing time here anyway in Diliman plus had I pursued it, I wouldn't have met the wonderful people I now have in life. Well since I'm talking of acads...i'll fill you up more about my acad life (what?!). It's amazing how fast time flies. I'm already in my senior year (and my last hopefully) and it's just like yesterday when I was still a naive freshie and a Kalai resident. UP rocks! I would forever cherish my UP life because it is really here where I learned not only intellectually but also picked up things I know would help me along the stretch. And since this is my last year, I would like to clean up my act and make the best out of my remaining days. Never mind that I won't graduate with a laude (thanks to math 17! if only I hadn't dropped), it would have been just a lovely bonus. UP is a torture, a very sweet torture that is. ;D

#4: 'KADA
I had a blast with my 'kada since grade school two weeks ago. It was really fun hopping around UP, ChocKiss and Eastwood and being the sole rose of three guys (Noreen and Yayan, we miss you so badly! :c) We splurged quite a lot (don't ask how much... every peso was spent well it's worth anyway ;D). It was just so great to be with people you care and genuinely care for you too. And of course, there's such a high when female species eye me with envy because I am with three good-looking (and smart! they're maroons as well ;p) gentlemen! That was really really fun! Big time thanks to you bros! And sorry if i sometimes I fail to spend time with you. I'll make up for it promise. Noreen, lagi ka nang busy. grRr! miss you grabe. Yayan, our new mom! Congrats! Hope to see the baby soon. Kiss her for me. ;D

#5: DEBUTANTE
This one's a confession. I envy those who got to celebrate their 18 years of existence with a debut (yes, i am aware that it isn't practical). I would have liked to have one when I turned 18 for that was something I dreamed of since I was little but unfortunately it didn't materialize to reality. I am not mad with my family because I very well understood the reasons why my debut wasn't pushed through. We experienced such a big problem in the family and it would be so selfish of me if I hadn't given way. Anyway, I still can't help but wish that it happened. So, I really promised myself a big party when I turn 36. hehe ;p

#6: TEAZZ ME!
Up to this time, I still can't quite believe that it really happened to me. I can't quite believe that I really got hugged, kissed, brought up on stage and danced with Raymond Marasigan of Sandwich last friday mid-morning during the concert for freshies at the Bahay ng Alumni. It was funny for while it was happening, I didn't knew it was him and was clueless of the song he was singing ( I thank my lucky stars that he didn't asked me to sing ;p, he only asked me to dance ;p) because I am really not so into bands. I am not so sure if I looked okay while I was on stage but what the heck, a lot would have given anything just to change place with me that night. I'll forever treasure that grand experience, something I would love to pass on to my grand and great-grandchildren. It was really such a lovely advanced birthday gift! ;D

#7: DANGGIT
I know you know and you know I know. But you never told me why it suddenly ended. I guess let's just leave it like that. I think it's for the better. I am contented in knowing that once upon a time I was special.

#8: WAPAK
You're not worth the pain.

*this is not what's supposed to be written here if this was published last monday but something happened that changed everything...

To all my love ones, maraming salamat sa pagbibigay kulay sa bawat araw ng buhay ko. Cheers to more wonderful years with all of you! ;D

Whew! that's quite a piece... 'till next time folks! ;D

no!

2006-06-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

waah... what happened to my blog? ;c

after one year, remind me to fall in love with you again

2006-06-05T17:59:00.000+08:00

i'm turning back.

call this cowardice.
call this insanity.
call this foolishness.

but i'm turning back

for now...

i'm sorry, i can't risk something that's great and lasting
with something that's highly unpredictable

for now...

*after one year, remind me to fall in love with you again.

and night after night

2006-06-05T17:55:00.000+08:00

day after day

i'm feeling tired and lonely...

day after day

it's him and him only...

something in his eyes makes my hope start to rise...
but he's part of the world that doesn't include me.
nothing can ever include me...

i'll never win...
and this is how it' always been.

I'M ON THE OUSTIDE, LOOKING IN...

*from ate kai ;D

let me be the calm you seek

2006-06-05T17:52:00.000+08:00

but everytime i'm close to you...

there's too much i can't say
and you just walk away...

and oh, i forgot...

to tell you i love you

and the night's too long
and cold here without you.

i grieve in my condition for i cannot find the words to say..

i need you so bad.

afraid to love you

2006-06-05T17:48:00.000+08:00

i'm so tired but i can't sleep...
i'm standing on something much too deep...

it's funny how we feel so much
but we cannot say a word...
though we are screaming inside
we can't be heard...

i will remember you...

will you remember me?

don't let your life pass you by...

weep not for memories.
weep not for memories.

thugsh!

2006-05-21T19:45:00.000+08:00

i am inspired.

my life is much much sweeter now.
never felt like this before.
never smiled and laughed this much.
never been this happy.

i thank whoever or whatever is responsible for bringing you into my life..
for giving me a happier life
i thank everyone.
i thank everything..

i want you to know
i want you to know

yes...
yes..
yes.

*never been this happy*

wapapak!

2006-05-11T10:50:00.000+08:00

this is not your ordinary...

no, ordinary love...

i was not prepared enough...

to fall so deep in love.

*make me smile.make me smile.make me smile forever...

wapak!

2006-05-06T18:04:00.000+08:00

why bother?

as long as i am happy.

well, at least for now.

i hope it lasts.

whatever it is that we have...

whatever it is...

whatever it is.

pseudo supply function

2006-03-12T15:41:00.000+08:00

haha... i think i flunked my econ exam... so i really have to take the finals... oh well... no one else to blame but me...

happy birthday dom! haha... (nag-treat si dom sa wok dis way as promised for being the apsmer who clinched the highest score in the 1st econ exam)... yahoo! ; P

has anyone tried sipping iced tea with hot sauce? dom and I did hours ago. and definitely we won't try it again, unless we'll be offered cash in return. haha ;p

i wonder who's gonna treat us after the final exam? i'm 100% sure it wouldn't be me...

ran, woke up at 9am (our exam supposedly should have started by 9am)... she came by 9:30... i really wonder how she managed to come to UP in 30 minutes from Taguig... miracles do happen, i told you! ; P

i had my hair cut about 30 minutes ago...
the reason why i changed my hairstyle?
oh well, something ended.
for more details, ask me in person. *wink*

*** 'i remember --but I'd rather forget...'

3:45 am

2006-03-12T15:36:00.000+08:00

i believe in miracles.

they really do happen.

*i unbelievably recieved a passing mark for my essay. thank you Lord. ;)

Scarlett

2006-02-16T19:07:00.000+08:00

"She is the only dream I ever had that lived and breathed and did not die in the face of reality."

-Ashley Wilkes
"Gone With the Wind"

"Scarlett, I was never one to patiently pick up the broken pieces as if the mended whole is as good as new. I'd rather remember it as it was, at its best, than see the broken places as long as I live."

-Rhett Butler
"Gone With the Wind"

"You will come back just like you came back before. But you won't find me waiting. You have to come find me wherever I am."

-Scarlett O'Hara
"Gone With the Wind"

bluish

2006-02-16T18:46:00.000+08:00

you treat me as if i don't exist.

damn.

you're so cold, as cold as ice.

damn.

how dare you make me feel this way!

what's happening to you?

damn.

i should not have let you in to my heart...

stupid me, i thought what we have (had) is (was) something special...

stupid me.

damn.

you could have talked to me...

anyway, don't bother...

it doesn't matter anymore.

just please get out of my life.

because from this day on...

you no longer exist.

india

2006-02-10T18:29:00.000+08:00

i fucked up with my essay... damn, i am so disappointed with myself... and this is not just a little mess for that damn essay is worth 20% of my future grade in my sole major subject this semester... i guess i really now have to consider the option of dropping...

i am so disappointed and i have no one else to blame but myself...

if i ever i would get a passing grade for that essay, i would truly believe in miracles forever...

console me, my friends...i need it so badly...

too bad, my "mortal enemy" won't be able to do that now since she's off to Sagada at this very moment...

***yngat ran! enjoy!

damn, i feel so low... ='(

2006-01-11T17:38:00.001+08:00

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner.For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience.
You attract others with wit and a bit of flash.Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you.
Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life.You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past.
You connect best with: Earth
Avoid: Fire
You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatelementisyourlovequiz/">What Element Is Your Love?

I wanna know what love is... ; P

2006-01-11T17:35:00.000+08:00

Your Love Element Is Metal

What Element Is Your Love?

i saw you...you saw me...but it felt like you didn't see me at all...

2005-12-31T18:12:00.000+08:00

I met you at a time when I was losing faith with the magic of love…I was nursing a broken heart, a badly broken heart back then… I was bitter ‘bout life, what with the tons of misadventures and pain my heart had endured…And the very last thing on my mind was to find a new love…I really thought that after my recent heartbreak it would take eons for me to find someone to make my precious heart flutter again…I thought it would be long before again I’d stare at nothing and then smile giddily for no exact reason at all…

I even swore to be a man-hater…

I was wrong…I failed…

Terribly, I must admit…

Because out of the blue…

you came…

We crossed paths at a time when I never intended to have any connection with anyone that is much deeper than friendship. Honestly, I wasn’t even expecting us to be friends. You belong to a different league and I wasn’t part of that league… In fairness to you, not even once did you ever make me feel out of your league… But I guess fate interfered and without us knowing, we became friends…we became close…

I never intended to cross the borderline of friendship…but somehow, somewhere, along the way I did unknowingly… I don’t even know when it started…I don’t know when I started to treasure you as more than a friend… I was trying pretty hard to keep what I really feel about you since we have some common friends… But I feel ungrateful to you every time I try to stop myself from reciprocating… I was just afraid to get my heart broken again… And I know you deserve someone better than me…

Yet though I know it, I wasn’t able to control my heart and stop liking you… How could I? When you never fail to make me smile…When you never fail to amuse me…When you never fail to care for me… When you never fail to make me feel special… I could never exactly explain the happiness I feel whenever we’re together…

***, being with you felt like heaven…

I wished those times lasted forever…but they didn’t… It was my fault…No one else to blame but me… I got mad at you for something I wasn’t even sure you did… for something I now realized I don’t have the right to get mad at if ever you did that… And worst, I didn’t even tell you what you did ‘wrong’… I suddenly became irrational and since I feel hurt I in turn made you look like a fool… You tried to patch things up but I stayed indifferent to you… You got tired… got tired of me I guess… so you gave me a dose of my own medicine… You became cold to me and that’s when I realized how foolish my actions were… I tried so hard to make it up to you… I did things I never imagined I would do for a guy just to make it up with you… But then you stayed cold… Those two weeks were the hardest two weeks of my life… I was crying every night… I can’t even think straight that time… You were hurting me so much already… and I was on the verge of just giving up on you…

But I didn’t… Because no matter how hard I try, I can’t… I just can’t let you go… Not when we almost made it through… Not when I am sure that I have already fallen in love with you… Not now that I am sure that I love you…

I guess you took pity on me…hehe… You decided to give you and I another chance… but this time I feel like there’s a wall between us already… Yet I don’t care… I knew everything would go back to the way they used to be… and they did… Unfortunately, classes are going to end as well… I was really sad since we’ll no longer have ‘sure days’ to see each other… I was afraid that over the break you’ll meet someone else who’ll make you smile a lot brighter and make you feel more loved… I guess you didn’t, because we kept our communication going on… and though we don’t get the chance to see each other often, I am still happy… I am contented in knowing that I have you and you have me…

But as days go by, I feel like we’re losing each other… We’re growing apart though I don’t want to admit it… I no longer know everything that’s happening in your world neither do you know everything that’s happening on mine that’s why I wrote that article on my blog which I shouldn’t have written…my deepest regret… Still I tried to hold on to what we have… I know I love you… but then now I was never sure if you really do… I know actions speak louder than words but sometimes those three words are needed to be spoken out loud…for me to hear…

I would have still hold on, ***… if only we didn’t see each other a couple of days ago… You were cold to me for a reason I am not aware of… I am so confused why so suddenly you acted like you didn’t know me for just two weeks before that, we were together, talking and laughing like nothing changed at all… and then I saw you… you saw me… but it felt like you didn’t see me at all…

You broke my heart right there and then… It was shattered into a million pieces and up to this day, I haven’t collected every darn piece of it… I don’t know when it’ll be whole again… I don’t know what’s gonna happen next to you and I…

Is it over? Are we over for quite a time already and we’re both just cowards to admit it? I don’t want to answer this right now… I still want to think… think about you… about me… about you and I for just one more time before we say it’s over… I could never say ‘us’ since we never made ‘us’ official… But, I wished we did… I wished we were brave enough to tell each other openly how we feel… I wished we had guts to tell everyone that we love each other… I wished I never gave up on us…because I did, though I didn’t tell you, every time I realize that you are too good of a man for me…

If ever this is the end of our story, I want you to know that I never regretted knowing you…

I never regret loving you, ***…

I am not letting go because I don’t love you anymore… in fact, it is the other way around…
I know in this life there will never be another you… You changed me in more ways than one… You made me a better person without you even knowing about it… and I am really thankful… I will forever treasure what we had…This is not goodbye, for you will always be part of me…

We had our chance but I guess we’re just not meant… not right now perhaps… perhaps for the two of us in this certain time, love is not enough to make it work… we have to accept that truth for now…

Until the day we’ll cross paths again… I’ll be waiting for you, for ‘us’… but if ever that day never comes I’ll just wait for the one that God really willed me to have and share the rest of my life with… I’ll just wait patiently for my destiny, though I really hope it’s you, no matter how long it would take him to find me… because once you’ve tasted manna from heaven why be contented with bread? Ayt!?

I want you to be happy…

Godbless!

one and only you...

2005-12-14T18:10:00.000+08:00

it only took...

one simple look...

one precious smile...

one sweet touch...

for my life to be completely changed

forever changed...

forever filled with joy

with memories of you and I

and of that unexplainable magic...

called LOVE...

7-11

2005-10-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: July 11

Your birth on the 11th day of the month makes you something of a dreamer and an idealist. You work well with people because you know how to use persuasion rather than force. There is a strong spiritual side to your nature, and you may have intuitive qualities inherent in your make up, too.
You are very aware and sensitive, though often temperamental. Although you have a good mind and you are very analytical, you may not be comfortable in the business world. You are definitely creative and this influence tends to make you more of a dreamer than a doer.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Are you sure you wanna know

2005-10-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Is

The Three Question Personality Test

usahay

2005-10-19T13:23:00.000+08:00

Minsan kahit mahal na mahal mo ang isang tao…
Dumarating ang punto na ikaw mismo ang kusang lalayo…
Pipilitin mong humanap siya ng iba…
Isang taong nararapat sa kanya…
Pipilitin mong lumigaya siya sa piling ng iba…
Sa taong hindi makakasama sa pagkatao niya…

Upang makalimutan ka…
ang inyong mga alaala habang magkasama
ang mga binuo ninyong pangarap…
ang ipinaglaban ninyong pagmamahalan…

Kahit na sobrang hirap…
Kahit na halos mapunit ang dibdib mo sa lungkot…
Kahit na halos ikamatay mo ang sakit…

Pipilitin mong kayanin…
Dapat mong kayanin…
Dahil iyon ang nararapat…
Iba ang nararapat para sa kanya...
Dahil iyon ang makakabuti…
Higit na makakabuti para sa kanya…
Dahil hindi ka makakabuti para sa kanya…
Kaya ‘di bale nang mabuhay ka na lang mag-isa…
Kasi nga mahal mo siya…

Kaya…
ikaw na lang ang magsasakripisyo…
ikaw na lang ang iiyak mag-isa…
ikaw na lang ang magiging masama sa paningin ng iba…

Para sa kaligayahan niya…
Para sa ikabubuti niya…
Para sa kanya…
Kakayanin mong mag-isa…

Wag ka nang mag-alala..
Para sa mas ikabubuti mo…
Para sa pagmamahal ko sa’yo
Para sa’yo
Kakayanin ko ito…
Kakayanin kong mag-isa…

Shutter...

2005-10-10T14:34:00.000+08:00

Namimiss kita...
pilit ko mang itago...

ilang araw pa lang tayong hindi nagkikita...

ilang araw pa lang tayong hindi nagkakausap...

ilang araw pa lang tayong hindi nagkakasabay...

pero namimiss na talaga kita...
pilit ko mang itago...

ikaw...

naaalala mo kaya ako ngayong mga oras na 'to?

naiisip mo kaya ako?

bumabalik kaya sa'yo ang mga alaala ko?
napapangiti ka kaya ng mga alaala ko?

sana...
sana nga...

nasaan ka kaya?

hinahanap mo kaya ako?
hinihiling mo kaya na nasa tabi mo ako ngayon?

sana...
sana nga...

kailan kaya tayo muli makikita?

kailan kaya tayo muli magtatagpo?

baka matagalan...
wag naman sana...

hihintayin ba kita?
nagpapahintay ka ba?

hanggang kailan?

sana sa muli nating pagtatagpo...

ok na ang lahat...

wala nang kahit isang problema...

malaya na tayong makakalipad nang magkasama...

tayo lang dalawa...

patungo sa paraisong para sa atin lang ginawa...

sana...
sana nga...

namimiss kita...
pilit ko mang itago...
namimiss talaga kita...

hanggang sa araw nang ating muling pagtatagpo...

hihintayin kita...
hihintayin kita...

White Flag

2005-09-25T09:43:00.000+08:00

sa wakas napatawad mo na ako...

muli humihingi ako ng patawad sa nagawa ko...
sa sakit na naiparamdam ko...

ilang araw din tayong hindi nag-usap...

ilang araw din tayong hindi magkasabay bumaba ng hagdanan...

ilang araw din tayong hindi nagkibuan...

ilang araw din tayong hindi naging normal...

ilang araw din akong nalungkot...umiyak...

alam kong kasalanan ko ang lahat.......

ok na tayo...sinira ko pa...

siguro...hindi lang talaga...

hindi lang talaga tayo para sa isa't isa...

tinatanggap ko na...

tanggapin na nating dalawa...

para wala na lang problema...

tutal ilang araw na lang ba ang nalalabi sa ating dalawa?
tatlo na lang ata...

haay...

ilang araw lang pero tila ang dami nang nagbago...

tila ang dami nang lumipas...

siguro nga mas mabuting ganito na lang tayo magtapos...

hindi ganon kasakit...
hindi ganon kakumplikado...

mahal kita...

mahal kita...

hindi yun magbabago...

pero ayaw ko nang umiyak...
ayaw na rin kitang umiyak...

wag na natin pilitin ang hindi pa nararapat...
dahil sa ngayon...

mas makabubuting palayain kita...

sa ngayon baka mas liligaya tayo sa piling ng iba...

saka na lang tayo...

kapag tama na ang lahat...
kapag sang-ayon na sa atin ang buong mundo...

saka na lang natin takasan ang mundo...
kapag talagang handa na tayo...

hanggang sa muli...

salamat sa lahat...

salamat sa pagmamahal...

minahal kita...

fridays

2005-09-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

days passed by so fast...

i suddenly found myself losing track of time...

losing track of people coming in and going out of my life...

losing track of everyday moments within and around me...

you know why?

because i'm so into you...

my life's so centered with you...

though i don't want to...

i was not supposed to get so attached with you...

i was not supposed to fall in love with you...

but i did...

i can't help it...

you're one of a kind...

truly one of a kind...

tuesdays...

2005-07-21T10:39:00.000+08:00

gusto kong sumigaw...

gusto kong tumawa...
tumawa ng tumawa habang kasama ka...

kahit magmukha akong baliw at tanga...
basta kasama kita...

gusto kong tumakbo na hawak ang mga kamay mo

tumakbo palayo sa lahat...

takasan natin ang mundo...lumayo tayo...
tumungo tayo sa lugar na tayo lang ang tao...
ikaw at ako...

para walang magulo...hindi kumplikado...
masaya tayo.

gusto kitang yakapin...
yakapin ng mahigpit...
habambuhay...sa bawat paghinga...
ikaw lang...ikaw na nga...

gusto kong tumawa...
gusto kong tumakbo...
gusto kitang yakapin...
gusto kong sumigaw...

isigaw na MAHAL KITA...
dahil 'yun ang totoo
'yun ang sinisigaw ng puso ko...
ikaw ang nasa puso ko...

mahal kita.

all you ever needed...

2005-07-13T10:41:00.000+08:00

it's been a month na pala since i last posted...

haha... i haven't posted pala a single article since the classes started this sem...

lazy me... hehehe as always!

First things first, i extend my sincere gratitude to everyone who made my birthday so special!

thank you so much...

(Rania&Gracie...what more can i say...u made my birthday so unforgettable that up to now i'm still overwhelmed with joy... thank God for friends like you!)

sa lahat ng nag-sign sa card...hehehe...halos lahat kayo nag-wish na magkaron ako ng mas colorful pang lovelife... hehehe... sana nga noh?!

again...everyone, thank you for being part of my life... GODBLESS US ALL! ^_^

p.s. (Gracie,Rania,Cel) ayan...religious na ko...pa-Godbless Godbless na rin ako...bagay na kami ni papa _ _ _ _ _ ! hehehe ;p

*************************************************************************************

So bakit nga ba ang tagal bago ako nag-post ulet?

hmmm...

1. busy? mejo...priority ko kc ngaun ung 178 and ung application ko sa APSM...
naku...
next friday na BATTLEFIELD FRIDAY namin where we have to share our talents to all the members... friends...i need ur moral support! may challenge kami later at 1pm...ano kaya ung challenge? GO AQUIOSA!!

2. bangag? oo...nababangag talaga ko sa 178...ewan ko ba...i feel so intimidated sa prof namin...laging naeexperience ko ung butterfly sensations everytime na papasok ako sa class namin dun...haay...polsci... (Farrah...sana nga dumating na ang panahon na talagang mahalin na natin 'to ng buong puso...)

3. inlove? sasabihin ninyo siguro... na naman karen!!
ewan ko ba... sa totoo lang...hindi 'to kasama sa plano ko ngayong sem...
hindi nga ako naghahanap... after my past relationships kasi akala ko napagod na ang puso ko na magmahal...pahinga muna...ayoko na munang masaktan at umiyak na naman...

pero bigla siyang dumating...
sa totoo lang, kaya hindi ako nag-update ng blog eh dahil natatakot akong hindi mapigilan ang sarili ko at maisulat ko ang depth ng nadevelop na "feelings" ko sa kanya...

(Cel..Rania..Gracie...)

it's true i'm falling for him...

kahit ayoko... wala na kong magagawa...
ayoko ng lokohin ang sarili ko...
pero hindi ako umaasa ng something more sa friendship namin...
masaya na kong nakikita siya twice a week...
nakakausap...napapatawa...napapangiti...nakakasabay pagbaba ng hagdan...

ok na ok na yun... para mapangiti ako buong araw...

buong buhay...

tama na muna 'to bka malaman na ng lahat kung sino siya...

sa next update ko...i'll post something bout him... promise it won't take me a month to post that... hehehe...

^_^

i love you

2005-05-18T11:49:00.000+08:00

i love you...

but why?

i been wracking my brains for an intelligent answer...

but i can't seem to find one...

perhaps you could tell me why do i love you...

you have conquered my heart and my soul...

so perhaps you know why do i love you...

tell me please...

'cause i love you...

crazy for you

2005-04-27T15:12:00.000+08:00

im torn between two lovers...

what a cliche...

but i guess it's true...

it was thrilling at first... i must admit... hehehe bad gurl... ;p

but lately it's making me crazy...

i know to whom my heart really belongs...

it's just that...it's not that easy to tell someone to back off...to let me go...to forget me... when you can clearly feel that he loves you...

but it must be done...

im sorry...

im sorry i disappointed you...

im sorry im crazy for someone else...

im sorry...

lazy me

2005-04-15T13:26:00.000+08:00

i think im experiencing a brain-dead situation...

recent events made my head spin so fast i thought it would snap hard apart...

can't seem to think logically right now...

im highly irrational these days...

too bad, i know...

really too bad for me... huhuhu...

yet i know why it's happening to me...

and i know how to snap out of it...

what i don't know is why im so lazy to snap out of it...

perhaps im having fun while im in this crazy little world of mine for the moment...

but i know i have to wake up or else...

life might slip away from me...

no!!!

i'l wake up soon promise...

wait for me...

at long last...

2005-04-05T13:47:00.000+08:00

at long last, the universe has finally conspired to make me create... "turon" (ranie ranz! hehehe) my very first blog...

just made it today...so i still don't know what to put in it...

but i'll post stuffs very soon... promise!

waaah! Happy Vacation everyone!